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17-07-2013, 10:51 - «Обширные записи из леса смеха»


Из книги «Обширные записи из леса смеха»
(династия Цин, 1644–1911)

«Обширные записи из леса смеха»


Очень быстро завоняло
Один слепой летом ел улиток и уронил одну на землю. Он нагнулся, пошарил рукой и нащупал кучку куриного помета. Ему показалось, что это улитка. Он положил помет в рот и сказал: «Какая сегодня жара, улитка только упала на землю, а уже завоняла».


Не выбирать места
Один крестьянин съездил в город и, после того как вернулся, говорит жене:
- Я в городе так много чихал.
Она в ответ:
- Это потому, что я о тебе здесь думала и скучала.
Прошло несколько дней. Этот человек нес корзину с навозом, и проходил по высокому, узкому деревянному мостику. Вдруг несколько раз чихнул, потерял равновесие, оступился и упал с моста. Тут же заругался:
- Ах, она!!! Опять по мне скучает! Смотрела хотя бы, где я в это время нахожусь.


Учитель был лучше
Сяо Вану очень трудно давалась грамматика китайского языка. Учитель бранит его:
- Сяо Ван, экий ты ребенок! Почему ты никак не можешь выучить грамматику?! В твои годы я знал ее намного лучше тебя, и постоянно получал только хорошие оценки.
- Учитель, мне кажется, что просто Ваш учитель был на­­много лучше моего.


Старый бобыль
Жил старый одинокий человек. Люди его спрашивают:
- Дети-то у тебя есть? Сыновья?
- Вы упомянули моих сыновей, и тем самым сделали мне очень больно. Когда дедушка моей жены договаривался с моим отцом о женитьбе, то договорились они легко и быстро. Но план был испорчен небесной карой: тесть мой не взял в жены мою тещу, потому они не родили мою жену. И до сих пор я не знаю, где же мои дети.


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